People need to understand.  Najib may have been an all-powerful prime minister and finance minister in charge of his ruling party and the country, but he was not responsible for anything. This was his message during his exclusive interview this week from his holiday in the five star resort of Langkawi.

It is a most convenient concept: I authorise all the decisions, but it is those who have to obey those decisions who must take responsibility for the decisions that I make. My signature? I was just signing what my underlings told me to sign.

If these included cheques for bribes or orders to divert millions of ringgit of public money to myself or my cronies, I simply did not realise that my staff were betraying me in this manner.

Of course I had someone else managing my private slush account at the bank, so that they could take the blame if the shit hit the fan. In fact, let me name the fellow, since he has been frantically on the run since the day the1MDB scandal broke. It’s Nik Kamil, Jho Low’s friend – even though I have denied all this for years. Yes, the pair of these total rascals are responsible for any money I might have stolen and now China are protecting them to save its own face.  Pretty handy outcome, all in all.

On that somewhat thorny related issue as to who paid that billion dollars into my bank account, once again I have the perfect answer. It was the dead former king of Saudi Arabia!  I know I have refused to name him all these years, but now I am – after all he can’t answer back and he had bags of money.

Ooops.  More accusations of selling out my country to a foreign power?  Let’s be clear, just because a foreign leader secretly pays a billion dollars into another prime minister’s bank account doesn’t mean there is any question of exerting covert control over his country. What a silly thought.  Just because someone secretly gives you money doesn’t make you obliged.

The fact that I have been sending Malaysian troops to Saudi to risk their lives in a nasty Middle Eastern local conflict has nothing to do with any of this.  In that context you must remember I am lying about being paid by Saudi, because everyone really knows the money came from 1MDB (apart from the $90 million or so that the Saudi Foreign Ministry was in fact recorded paying into my account – but Nik Kamil never mentioned that to me).

Moving on to more important matters, I do think it is really most appalling how I am not being treated with the respect due to a former prime minister.  And why pilloried for taking 30 suitcases for a short holiday away?  We almost had to carry the bags ourselves, since the police escort staff have been so outrageously reduced.

It’s one thing to remove the protection of a former prime minister aged 92 years old, but quite another to remove mine. This is because someone else made the decision to remove the escort of Dr M, whilst I was in total power; whereas he always stands by his own decisions and his own signature. So, he is responsible for removing my police protection, but not I his.

….. so the explanation goes on.  So, childish and pampered is this ludicrous and self-pitying man that one almost feels sorry for him for have been so under-educated for his role.  Najib appears to have been reared like an eighteenth century prince with a whipping boy to take the blame each time His Dunce failed to grasp his lessons.

He inherited his office as of right, when it becomes clearer by the day he couldn’t perform the role. And he still doesn’t realise that everyone can see right through him.  He simply wasn’t taught what the rest of the world learns at an early age about taking responsibility, working for one’s rewards and facing the consequences of lying.

He needs to learn for the sake of his country’s future.